Focus and there you shall go.

Focus is what I need. My attention is scattered, as if I am surveying the horizon looking for signs.

Signs of rain, so then I should look for an umbrella, or signs for sun so I should search for a shady tree, or signs of a visitor so I should make scones and tea, or signs of a looming telephone bill so I'd better look for money, and so it goes. Like a Meer cat, on my hind legs, searching for something out there that I should be getting prepared for and then I'll know where to put my energies. And at the end of the days, I don't experience the satisfaction one gets from having inched towards one's integrated self. It's still 'out there' somewhere, over the horizon and not here, part of me. So today, I will turn my attention to organising. I've done this before too. Nothing happens. But i've had enough. And something changes when you finally say, "That's it. Nothing happens, nothing changes until I do." What do you want? Enough of trying to change the inside, that will only shift when you start to make shifts on the outside. Look towards what is easy, start with that. One step at a time.